From: Cliff on
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/430490-sarah-palin-sports-tips
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S.O.S.: Not many of us in the lower 48 have ever been moose hunting. Are there
any special secrets for bagging a big one?

S.P.: Well, I don�t want to get all mavericky or anything, but it helps if
your pilot can fly real low, but don�t hit any of them trees. That�ll cramp your
style.



S.O.S.: How about bear hunting? We saw a picture of you sitting on a bearskin
rug.

S.P.: Bear hunting? Come on up and we�ll fix you up, you betcha. Just be sure
you bring some hunting buddies with you, preferably fat ones who can�t run as
fast as you.




S.O.S.: Did you see the videos of the New Mexico soccer girl playing dirty,
yanking hair, smacking her opponents in the ribs? Do you think that gives a bad
name to women�s sports?

S.P.: You�re kidding, right? Now folks are watching soccer. You see these
nails? When I played basketball we called them claws. If your uniform wasn�t all
tattered you had a good day. I left more teeth marks than a Dracula. I snapped
more bra straps than a tranny in a training bra. We play rough�like mavericks.



S.O.S.: Speaking of women�s basketball, now that Sacramento has given up on the
Monarchs, do you think the WNBA will ever locate in Alaska ?

S.P.: Don�t see why not. We got cold nights. Nothing will warm ya up like a
bunch of gals in shorts sweating over a hot gym floor.



S.O.S.: Your husband, Todd, likes to go on 2000 mile snow-ski races. Do you send
anything along to keep him from being lonely on these lengthy races?


S.P.: Do you mean like frilly undergarments? No, you betcha I tried that� but
they came back all stretched out. No, usually I just send some pictures and a
few cans of soup. If he gets cold, you bet there are some polar bears he can
skin.



S.O.S.: This is a little off our sports subject, but we understand Levi
Johnston is going to pose nude in Playgirl using a sports item as a prop. Did
you ask Bristol about it?

S.P.: She said it was just going to be him and his hockey puck.



S.O.S.: At one time you expressed a desire to be an ESPN anchorperson. Do you
have any advice for young women who might wish to follow the same desire as you
did?

S.P.: Oh, sure. Well, first you get a job on a TV station. Do whatever you can
to learn the job. Then get yourself elected mayor of a small town. Then get
involved with your party and get appointed to a state commission. Then get
elected governor. Then sell your state jet plane. Then, if you�re lucky, an old
codger with a bad ticker will pick you to be his running mate. THEN, if you�re
still lucky, a comedian will impersonate you on a late night TV show. Then, you
have a chance to be an ESPN anchor person.
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